In modern society, the meaning of selfish is evolving. With an increasing need for self-care, mental health, and personal boundaries, being “selfish” is sometimes rephrased as necessary self-preservation. Social media and hustle culture further complicate this, as self-interest can be seen as either empowerment or narcissism. In relationships and workplaces, distinguishing between healthy self-prioritization and harmful selfishness is crucial. Ultimately, the term remains context-dependent, shaped by cultural values and individual perspectives on responsibility, autonomy, and collective well-being.

In my experience “selfish” is often weaponized to gain emotional leverage. Example: choosing not to have children, is slandered as selfish. Would a selfish person make a good parent? What would be the consequences to society, or the child who would become an adult? Here’s another example, someone asked me for $200.00 to keep their phone active. I reply I can offer $100.00. “That’s Not What I Asked You For”!

Enter self preservation. Self-preservation traditionally refers to the instinct to protect oneself from harm. In modern society, it extends beyond physical survival to mental, emotional, and financial well-being. With rising awareness of burnout, toxic environments, and exploitation, self-preservation is increasingly seen as a justifiable act rather than selfishness. In personal and professional spheres, setting boundaries, prioritizing mental health, and leaving harmful situations are now viewed as necessary.

The very definition of selfish carries a negative connotation, implying a disregard for others in pursuit of personal gain. What did I stand to gain in either situation, aside from the illusion of social acceptance.

Self preservation and/or selfishness has sharpened my intuition, inspired solo travel adventures, creating my own professional opportunities (like this blog). Self preservation is about preserving yourself so you can give to the world.