Creativity as the Exit Strategy

It’s been weeks since I surpassed every metric required to monetize my YouTube channel. The growth has been fast, exciting even, but the approval process itself has sent me into a tailspin. Every ten days, another notification arrives telling me my monetization request has been rejected. Every attempt to contact Google leads to the same cold response: *your account is still under review.

Frustrated and emotionally exhausted, I reached out to a fellow creator for guidance.

As a 52-year-old woman who somehow managed to do what many people told me was impossible — get married for the first time, leave New York City, and build a life in the South of France — I’ve survived far greater things than an algorithm. I’ve endured threats disguised as affection, unscrupulous landlords, workplace accusations, reinvention, relocation, heartbreak, and uncertainty. Yet here I was, fighting to prove my worth in a digital landscape where everyone and their kitty cat has a podcast and a microphone.

 I thought: I’m beyond this.

Then it clicked… literally

If I have to beg for access, is it really mine? If something can be taken away with the click of a button, was it ever truly mine to begin with?

Barely five minutes into our conversation, I realized this entire tailspin was distracting me from the bigger picture. Monetization delays are not paid retroactively, meaning the videos currently climbing toward 100,000 views may never generate a cent. But strangely enough, once I accepted that possibility, I felt free.

Because that was never why I started creating in the first place.

I didn’t start this journey for notoriety, validation, or internet fame. I started because I wanted to become an example of what is possible when you take your life into your own hands. What I share is not theory. This is a lived experience. Every lesson, every risk, every reinvention has been earned in real time.

And for that reason, I have no business fighting for space I already created.

 “Why am I exhausting myself trying to force open someone else’s door when I could be building my own?”

 I Was Fixated on the Wrong Problem

The issue was never a lack of talent, ideas, or vision. The real problem was where my energy was going.

I found myself focusing on the obstacle instead of the creativity waiting on the other side of it.

So I decided to pause. I stepped back from constantly filming and uploading videos so I could protect my energy and reconnect with the intentionality behind my work. The goal was never simply to be seen. I never dreamed of becoming an influencer for the sake of influence itself.

I wanted to prove that a personal journey has value. That lived experience has buying power. That creativity and adventure can become a blueprint for others.

During our conversation, I remembered one of the original YouTube pioneers who walked away from the platform at the height of her visibility after securing major brand partnerships. The attention became overwhelming, and despite the success, she felt empty. Instead of continuing to chase visibility, she quietly built a wildly successful business behind the scenes. Now she posts only a handful of videos each year while maintaining true ownership over her brand and her life.

That stuck with me.

That is the kind of influence I want.

Not endless visibility. Not performative hustle. Real ownership. Creative control. Freedom.

The conversation also helped me understand that these monetization issues are incredibly common. Creators are approved, demonetized, reinstated, flagged, and reviewed constantly. Entire income streams can disappear overnight. Hearing that forced me to ask myself again:

If it can vanish at any moment, how much of it truly belongs to me?

The moment I stopped gripping so tightly to the approval process, my creativity returned almost immediately. I felt lighter. Freer. Excited again.

Instead of obsessing over a locked door, I began talking about the projects I’ve been quietly developing behind the scenes — ideas that give me ownership rather than dependency.

Because at the end of the day, the person in front of the camera is not always the person pulling the strings.

I want to pull the strings.

The time I spent in front of the camera gave me visibility. But the time I spend building my own intellectual property, my own platforms, my own frameworks, and my own products will give me power.

That is how I build my own door instead of exhausting myself trying to break through someone else’s.

Because social media platforms are borrowed territory. True creative freedom comes from ownership.

Now How am I going to pull this off???

Stay Tuned…

Thanks for being here

Thembi

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