August 3rd will forever be the day I became Madame Susini.

It’s not just the anniversary of our vineyard vows—it marks a new chapter of life marked by rootedness, revelation, and slow, intentional joy.

Before the wedding, I reached out to a friend who had been married for over 25 years. I asked her what I should know. Her advice was simple but wise:

“Keep discovering together.”

In our first year of marriage, that’s exactly what we’ve done.

 🚗 A Journey Through Time: Arles, Van Gogh & The Arena

To celebrate our first anniversary, we drove to Arles, an ancient Roman city made immortal by Van Gogh’s brushstrokes. After parking along the Rhône, we wandered hand-in-hand through Vieux Arles, its narrow cobbled lanes unfolding like a story.

Past the postcard-perfect cafés and souvenir shops, we slipped into the shadows of the ancient Arènes d’Arles, the Roman amphitheater. The golden August light filtered through the arches, casting long shadows across stone steps worn by centuries of gladiators and merchants, priests and lovers.

These are the places I love most—where time folds in on itself. I imagined the whispers of Roman civilians, the mundane and the magnificent:

What were their fears? Their visions? Who were they when no one was watching?

 

A Marriage of Mirrors and Meaning

As I sipped a cool drink beneath the terra cotta rooftops, I marveled—not just at the place, but at the person I’ve become in this partnership.

In just one year, I’ve discovered more about myself than I imagined possible. My husband has lived in this region his entire life, yet together we’re rediscovering it—curiously, playfully—as if we’re learning a new language with every small adventure.

I’ve also found a surprising softness within myself. For the first time in my life, I have the luxury of time. Time to think. To create. To rest.

I no longer live to survive, but I carry the strength of my survival story into our marriage. My resilience has become a gift to our union—a shared compass for navigating the unexpected.

I’ve seen the purity of my husband’s heart through the lens of daily life. I’ve witnessed the quiet ways he makes space for me to grow, to unfurl into this new version of myself.

🌿 One Year Later: What I Know Now

Discovery keeps love alive. Even if you’ve lived in one place your whole life, curiosity changes everything.

Survival isn’t shameful—it’s sacred. The same grit that kept me afloat now helps us navigate storms together.

Softness is strength. I’m learning that rest, reflection, and joy are revolutionary acts—especially for women like me who spent decades doing it all alone.

As I continue to evolve, I find myself asking deeper questions about identity—especially as I consider changing my name legally next year. But for now, I’m content to sit in the middle of two truths:

I am Thembi Costa, and I am also Madame Susini

This life, this love, this freedom to become—is all mine.

Journal Prompt:

In your current relationship (or in the one with yourself), what are you discovering?

What have you learned about yourself this past year that surprised you?