Trends, Data & Midlife Reclamation

By Thembi Costa Susini | NYCGurlxpat

When I asked whether I should drop “Costa” and fully become Madame Susini, it became clear: my question reflects a broader cultural shift. Identity, legacy, and the surname conversation weave through generations in surprising ways.

By the Numbers: Who Still Takes the Husband’s Last Name?

In 2023,79% of women in opposite-sex marriages in the U.S. adopted their husband’s surname, while 14% retained their birth name, and only 5% hyphenated both – Pew Research Center

Younger married women (aged 18–49) are twice as likely (≈20%) to retain their name compared to those over 50 (≈9%) ([Pew Research Center][1]).

Across America, around 69% of married women now have a married surname, while 29% keep their maiden names in daily life ([YouGov][2]).

Gen Z and Millennials in the UK: Only 35% of women aged 18–34 would take their partner’s surname—compared to 51% overall ([euronews][3]).

Tradition and Change Across the Globe

In France, Belgium, Greece, and the Netherlands, law often requires women to retain their birth names, and fewer than half adopt a shared surname in practice ([forbes.com][4]).

In Japan, where married couples must legally share one surname, around 95% of Japanese women take their husband’s name. Yet surveys show that 52% of married Japanese women say they would prefer separate names if given the choice ([apnews.com][5], [Reddit][6]).

According to a 2024 Appinio survey, 75% of American women still changed their name after marriage, while only 13% didn’t, and about 13% of men felt similarly ([appinio.com][7]).

💬 Cultural Influence

Longstanding expectations—rooted in legal doctrines like coverture—have reinforced the assumption that marriage means folding under the husband’s name ([The Hill][8]).

Identity and career

Women with advanced degrees or public profiles are significantly more likely to keep their birth name—even in academia or law—to preserve visibility and professional continuity ([Verywell Mind][9]).

Generational values

Younger women, especially Gen Z, are most open to alternatives: keeping their name, combining names, or co-owning identity in name choices ([euronews][3], [thetimes.co.uk][10]).

What It Means at Midlife

In your 40s and 50s, choosing your name—or changing it—is not just symbolic. It’s a declaration of:Alignment with self over tradition

Legacy on your own terms

Grief for the past + gratitude for what remains

As someone who built a public footprint as Thembi Costa, the choice to become Madame Susini feels seismic. It means honoring who I was and inviting forward who I’m becoming—even if that shift feels disorienting. I always saw myself using a hyphenated name. Yet I’m feeling called to move

on with a clean slate.

Reflection Prompt for Your Reinvention

What name—or identity—did you carry that no longer serves you?

What new name (legacy, role, lens) are you choosing in this next chapter?

🌻 If You’d Like Help Unraveling This…

My 1:1 Reinvention Sessions support women through exactly this kind of identity shift—whether it’s changing your name, your posture, your

boundaries, or your week. No expectation. Just listening, clarity, and courage.

With vineyards rooted in history and voices rewriting tradition,

Thembi

Founder, NYCGurlxpat | Thyme & Intention

Citations

Here are the APA-style citations for the sources referenced in your “What’s in a Name—Trends, Data & Midlife Reclamation” Substack sequel:

Pew Research Center. (2023, September 7). About eight-in-ten women in opposite-sex marriages say they took their husband’s last name. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/07/about-eight-in-ten-women-in-opposite-sex-marriages-say-they-took-their-husbands-last-name/
Appinio. (2024). Most American women still change their name after marriage. https://www.appinio.com/en/press-releases/lastnames
Euronews Culture. (2025, April 16). More Gen Z women are saying ‘I don’t’ to this marital tradition. https://www.euronews.com/culture/2025/04/16/more-gen-z-women-are-saying-i-dont-to-this-marital-tradition
Forbes. (2023, September 7). 8 in 10 women married to men still take husband’s last name. https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2023/09/07/8-in-10-women-married-to-men-still-take-husbands-last-name-according-to-new-survey/
The Hill. (2023, September). Why women still change their names after marriage. https://thehill.com/changing-america/respect/equality/4249567-women-change-names-marriage/
Verywell Mind. (2023). How changing your last name impacts your career. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-changing-your-last-name-impacts-your-career-8784137
AP News. (2024, April). Japan debates shared surnames for married couples. https://apnews.com/article/1dd8b9ff4ce24de9aea2dfa6a52af38c
YouGov. (2023). Poll: Most married women change their last name after the wedding. https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/52136-poll-most-married-women-change-their-last-name-after-the-wedding

What’s in a Name ? Pt 2

Trends, Data & Midlife Reclamation

By Thembi Costa Susini | NYCGurlxpat

When I asked whether I should drop “Costa” and fully become Madame Susini, it became clear: my question reflects a broader cultural shift. Identity, legacy, and the surname conversation weave through generations in surprising ways.

By the Numbers: Who Still Takes the Husband’s Last Name?

In 2023,79% of women in opposite-sex marriages in the U.S. adopted their husband’s surname, while 14% retained their birth name, and only 5% hyphenated both – Pew Research Center

Younger married women (aged 18–49) are twice as likely (≈20%) to retain their name compared to those over 50 (≈9%) ([Pew Research Center][1]).

Across America, around 69% of married women now have a married surname, while 29% keep their maiden names in daily life ([YouGov][2]).

Gen Z and Millennials in the UK: Only 35% of women aged 18–34 would take their partner’s surname—compared to 51% overall ([euronews][3]).

Tradition and Change Across the Globe

In France, Belgium, Greece, and the Netherlands, law often requires women to retain their birth names, and fewer than half adopt a shared surname in practice ([forbes.com][4]).

In Japan, where married couples must legally share one surname, around 95% of Japanese women take their husband’s name. Yet surveys show that 52% of married Japanese women say they would prefer separate names if given the choice ([apnews.com][5], [Reddit][6]).

According to a 2024 Appinio survey, 75% of American women still changed their name after marriage, while only 13% didn’t, and about 13% of men felt similarly ([appinio.com][7]).

💬 Cultural Influence

Longstanding expectations—rooted in legal doctrines like coverture—have reinforced the assumption that marriage means folding under the husband’s name ([The Hill][8]).

Identity and career

Women with advanced degrees or public profiles are significantly more likely to keep their birth name—even in academia or law—to preserve visibility and professional continuity ([Verywell Mind][9]).

Generational values

Younger women, especially Gen Z, are most open to alternatives: keeping their name, combining names, or co-owning identity in name choices ([euronews][3], [thetimes.co.uk][10]).

What It Means at Midlife

In your 40s and 50s, choosing your name—or changing it—is not just symbolic. It’s a declaration of:Alignment with self over tradition

Legacy on your own terms

Grief for the past + gratitude for what remains

As someone who built a public footprint as Thembi Costa, the choice to become Madame Susini feels seismic. It means honoring who I was and inviting forward who I’m becoming—even if that shift feels disorienting. I always saw myself using a hyphenated name. Yet I’m feeling called to move

Reflection Prompt for Your Reinvention

What name—or identity—did you carry that no longer serves you?

What new name (legacy, role, lens) are you choosing in this next chapter?

🌻 If You’d Like Help Unraveling This…

My 1:1 Reinvention Sessions support women through exactly this kind of identity shift—whether it’s changing your name, your posture, your

With vineyards rooted in history and voices rewriting tradition,

Thembi

Founder, NYCGurlxpat | Thyme & Intention

Leave a comment Cancel reply

Let’s connect

What’s in a Name ? Pt 2

Trends, Data & Midlife Reclamation

By Thembi Costa Susini | NYCGurlxpat

When I asked whether I should drop “Costa” and fully become Madame Susini, it became clear: my question reflects a broader cultural shift. Identity, legacy, and the surname conversation weave through generations in surprising ways.

By the Numbers: Who Still Takes the Husband’s Last Name?

In 2023,79% of women in opposite-sex marriages in the U.S. adopted their husband’s surname, while 14% retained their birth name, and only 5% hyphenated both – Pew Research Center

Younger married women (aged 18–49) are twice as likely (≈20%) to retain their name compared to those over 50 (≈9%) ([Pew Research Center][1]).

Across America, around 69% of married women now have a married surname, while 29% keep their maiden names in daily life ([YouGov][2]).

Gen Z and Millennials in the UK: Only 35% of women aged 18–34 would take their partner’s surname—compared to 51% overall ([euronews][3]).

Tradition and Change Across the Globe

In France, Belgium, Greece, and the Netherlands, law often requires women to retain their birth names, and fewer than half adopt a shared surname in practice ([forbes.com][4]).

In Japan, where married couples must legally share one surname, around 95% of Japanese women take their husband’s name. Yet surveys show that 52% of married Japanese women say they would prefer separate names if given the choice ([apnews.com][5], [Reddit][6]).

According to a 2024 Appinio survey, 75% of American women still changed their name after marriage, while only 13% didn’t, and about 13% of men felt similarly ([appinio.com][7]).

💬 Cultural Influence

Longstanding expectations—rooted in legal doctrines like coverture—have reinforced the assumption that marriage means folding under the husband’s name ([The Hill][8]).

Identity and career

Women with advanced degrees or public profiles are significantly more likely to keep their birth name—even in academia or law—to preserve visibility and professional continuity ([Verywell Mind][9]).

Generational values

Younger women, especially Gen Z, are most open to alternatives: keeping their name, combining names, or co-owning identity in name choices ([euronews][3], [thetimes.co.uk][10]).

What It Means at Midlife

In your 40s and 50s, choosing your name—or changing it—is not just symbolic. It’s a declaration of:Alignment with self over tradition

Legacy on your own terms

Grief for the past + gratitude for what remains

As someone who built a public footprint as Thembi Costa, the choice to become Madame Susini feels seismic. It means honoring who I was and inviting forward who I’m becoming—even if that shift feels disorienting. I always saw myself using a hyphenated name. Yet I’m feeling called to move

Reflection Prompt for Your Reinvention

What name—or identity—did you carry that no longer serves you?

What new name (legacy, role, lens) are you choosing in this next chapter?

🌻 If You’d Like Help Unraveling This…

My 1:1 Reinvention Sessions support women through exactly this kind of identity shift—whether it’s changing your name, your posture, your

With vineyards rooted in history and voices rewriting tradition,

Thembi

Founder, NYCGurlxpat | Thyme & Intention

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Leave a comment Cancel reply

Let’s connect

When I asked whether I should drop “Costa” and fully become Madame Susini, it became clear: my question reflects a broader cultural shift. Identity, legacy, and the surname conversation weave through generations in surprising ways.

Younger married women (aged 18–49) are twice as likely (≈20%) to retain their name compared to those over 50 (≈9%) ([Pew Research Center][1]).

Founder, NYCGurlxpat | Thyme & Intention